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Conception

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Long story.............But welcome back ade

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Hope you had a great day Jase

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For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. > > >One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to >ruin >his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she >would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to >raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child >turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was >born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, >and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child >support payments to begin. > > >One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused >wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card >today." >"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife >obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and >fainted. > > >On the card was written: >"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, and Spaghetti. Three with >meatballs, two without. > >Send extra sauce."

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson. “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that *** is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. But what does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is silent for a moment. “Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Swede

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A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized. “Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.” ** Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity

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