borderslad

…..well, regular and so loyal reader, I have a feeling we are, finally, approaching The Final Curtain ! ☹️ (😃). for 10 day’s, now, you have all endured my, almost, ceaseless, targetted, devastating and withering ‘post barrage’ of over 6 post’s per day, this is number 68 ! 👨‍🚀👨‍🚀👨‍🚀😲😲. prepare to throw off your flak jacket’s, bin the helmet, stand down, relax and walk free into the Spring sunshine and fresh air ! you will be released from the confine’s of your armoured fortification’s where you have merely existed, cowering, pinned down from the continuing, blistering onslaught of incoming armour piercing and anti-personnel Post’s ! the war to sell my year 2000 Lexus LS 400 is, I believe, nearly over ! 🙄. I have noted, since studying The Lexus Owner’s Club UK, over the month’s that Malcolm will infrequently refer to his Triumph, a true classic within his personal collection. perhap’s, some of you may be thinking what will happen when I, finally, sell my year 2000 Lexus LS 400 ? what will I drive - I’m an old, but healthy and able, old ‘git, will I hang my clog’s up and cease driving altogether, maybe ? …..will I …….! well, dear reader, I do still own my original BCF ( Best Car Forever ) - before it’s crown was, abruptly, taken by The Lexus LS 400 ! for nearly 3 year’s this ‘back up’ car has been stored, under cover in an old stable block, on a farm less than 3 mile’s from my home location. the car ? a mint condition, Japan personal import (2016), 1985 Mercedes-Benz W123 230e auto+aircon saloon, showing just 74k mile’s from new ! classic white with blue cloth interior - and not a black box in sight !😃😃. once known as ‘the Berlin taxi’ over 2.9 million unit’s were made and considered, today, as the zenith of MB precision engineering and design ! now, 40 year’s old next year ( free road tax 😃😃 ) nearly all the northern hemisphere car’s have rusted away - such a rare sight on the road’s, even rarer on the show circuit. really, too good to daily but shall for a while then, reluctantly put her, him, other up for sale - time,then, for me to recommence a ‘post barrage’ on the MBOC site…..😲😲🙄! value? mmm dealer’s are asking £20k+ - private early/mid teen’s ? ….big thrill for me, last week. preparing to recommission the MB - decided, for the first time ever in my life, to change the Oil and Filter - so easy ! 😃 my local go-to engineer, Dougie, would be seriously naffed off if he knew - normally, I supply the Oil and Filter and he charge’s £25 to change them on his ramp !! (Scottish Border’s, see 😃 ). anthony

….Paul - you too are a magician ! your point about power headlight washer’s only working when switched on has caused this gentle giant to arise from his slumber’s and go out to The Car to investigate ! ignition on, compressor’s on, fuel pump’s on, gyro’s on, vhf on, nav on, run up turbofan to test afterburner’s ok, brake’s on, landing light’s on - press instrument panel key to operate power washer’s - green light on and there’s water sprayed all over the light’s and windscreen - Paul - they work, thank you for the head’s up !! 😃😃😃😃 belay what I stated in an earlier post - not three failing’s at 24.5 year’s and just south of 171.000 mile’s but…….two ! ( remember, this car could have accrued c 250.000 mile’s by now 😲 ! ). now I have a serious problem to consider - I have falsely accused and made a previous written statement that The Car has 3 failing’s at this age / mileage ! 😲😲 but, in truth, it is now only 2 !! Gordon Bennett - if The Car ever find’s out I lied about the headlamp washer’s - believe me, it will surely kill me - I am now a dead man walking😲😲. please, someone purchase this, pure evil, motor car - I am now absolutely terrified for my life - help me, please !! 😳😳😳🙄 anthony

….2.700+ View’s to date - but no one has picked up on the credit for the film ‘ Christine ‘ ! written by Stephen King in 1983 and not Steven Spielberg as I quoted. phew ! glad I got there first - you guy’s would have shredded me ! 😲 my bad - I apologise Stephen ( cheque in the post ). anthony

…..Steve - are you kidding me ? 😃😃😃😃😃 as Victor Meldrew would say ‘ I SIMPLY DO NOT BELIEVE IT ! ‘ (in a very, very nice way!). as rare as hen’s teeth - a Torch to complete my Lexus Toolkit collection !!! 🫠 including you, Steve, everybody is so nice and kind here, on the Lexus Owner’s Club Forum - just, another, wow ! coming back to you, Steve, again thank you so, so much !! 👍🔦👍🔦👍🔦👍🔦. ( this man, Steve, loyal reader’s, is a true Diamond Geezer+ ! ). anthony Malcolm - your view - worth upgrading Sale Price of my year 2000 LS 400 from £4.495 to £6.495 - could the market take it, though ? 🤔

….sad but true, readet’s…….x4 Lexus LS 400 Repair Manual’s NOW SOLD ! ! ! 😢 anthony

….Ken, you like Malcolm, are so kind ! thank you - glad you enjoyed your Final Chapter - perhap’s some other reader’s saw it too ? 🤔 again, thank you anthony

…..on- going, intermittent, discussion’s, Malcolm. promise to update as soon as payment transfer is imminent. anthony kind regard’s anthony

….good day / evening to you, my regular and so loyal reader’s and follower’s ! following a very kind recent post from our esteemed Gold Member / Supporter, Ken R I should like to quote his concluding sentence to me, to you (chuckle brother’s ? 🙄🤭) : ..’good luck Anthony and I look forward to the next chapter’. the fact was - my last ‘Christine’ post ( last Tuesday at 9.35pm ), I had decided, was to be my last chapter ☹️ - the pending flagellation of my, dreadful, year 2000 Lexus LS 400 clearly the prelude to her / him / other’s demise at the local scrapyard ! well, by popular demand, from Ken R, I shall now conclude the story - The Very Last Chapter !! - Ken, this final chapter has been written just for you - enjoy ! 😃 …calm now, before I start I feel duty bound to answer a question some, not many, of you will be asking - who the hell is Christine ? 😳. well, if you are a petrolhead and / or an avgas fuelhead, like me, the movie is a ‘must see’ and shame on you if not yet seen ! 🙄. written by the legendary sci-fi author, Stephen Spielberg, the mild horror / black comedy (1983) film tell’s the story of junk car renovated to mint condition then destroyed by 4 vandals then, the car called Christine by it’s teen nerdy owner, proceed’s to, driverless, murder all 4 vandal’s, continuously regenerating itself ( v spooky 😲). ( factoid: 18 - 23 Plymouth car’s were destroyed in the making of the film - but no animal’s 🫠 ! ). infrequently on TV but can be viewed on alternative media - I beg you to watch it - in the same league as The Italian Job, British not US version (!), (1969) etc.… ….my hateful year 2000 Lexus LS 400 remained parked outside my home. as previously promised I wrenched off a long, strong branch off a nearby ash tree and proceeded to take my wrath out of the wretched car by giving it a damn good thrashing ( just like my tall counterpart, 6’5”, actor, John Cleese in Fawlty Tower’s ). within a few minute’s the whole high gloss paintwork was marred, scarred, scratched that only a total respray would recover ! did I care ? - did I …..! me and The Lexus were done ! following the very intense corporal punishment I called my local WeCrushAnyCar.com centre to collect the now sorry looking vehicle- the collection completed promptly. keen to witness the death of my Lexus I called Norman, the yard Manager, who willingly agreed I could attend The Execution the next day. arrived on site to see The Lexus being lifted up by a claw grip then rotated around to be then dropped, unceremoniously, and deliberatlly into the welcoming arm’s of the vehicle crusher - your going to die now, your just reward for being such a crap car with 3 failing’s after nearly 24 year’s, I thought. 😲 ! the crusher closed itself around my Lexus LS 400, like a boa constrictor , crushing the life out of her /him / other ! after a few minute’s of scream’s my car came to a painful but deserved death. a single bale of scrap metal was ejected onto the muddy ground. I walked over to idly look down on the remnants of my car - finally, it’s over, I am free of this once pale imitation of a proper prestige car ! as I turned away to return home I almost imagined I could hear the very, very faint strain’s of ‘rock’n roll is here to stay’ by Danny and The Junior’s emanating from deep inside the bale - silly, I thought, how could that be - impossible ! I shrugged and kept on walking. no more than 6 hour’s later my mobile trilled, it was Norman, site manager. Norman was hysterical and almost incoherent on the phone - finally, I managed to piece together his delirious message and demand’s ! Norman explained it had taken awhile to pick up the lone bale of Lexus scrap. watching from his office window he noted the fork lift approach to lift the bale - then the impossible happened !😲😲😲. he witnessed, in horror, as The Bale commenced to totally reincarnate and transform itself and return to it’s original Lexus LS 400 form, but looked so much better! utterly terrified, Norman,demanded I return immediately and drive the evil , possessed, satanic car off his site - he never wanted to see it again ! having duly collected my car - I was so impressed. it felt better, drove better and performed better than ever before. the paintwork was so high gloss shiny, never so good as when I previously owned it . what a happy ending !! 😃😃😃 now back on sale at £4.495 - the car is absolutely stunning to survey ! ! ….buy the car, imagine your ‘special’ year 2000 Lexus LS400 suffer’s a supermarket ding or a rear shunt or a T-bone impact !😲😲, any body damage whatsoever - do not panic, like everyone else, just relax go and have a cuppa - return to find your car absolutely, as new at no cost at all ! unique and miraculous ! THE END 😃 anthony

….my 60th post and 2.300+ View’s to date ! to thank you all for your continuing support and repeat visit’s I am going to make you an, exclusive, one off offer by releasing to you the advanced detail of an extremely rare ( I believe ) item destined for our ‘The Buy and Sell Accessorie’s Forum’ ! 🤔🤔🤔🤫🤫🤫. Malcolm, yes, I have recently received a provisional interested party - early day’s but will keep you all in the loop ! ….the exclusive, one off offer to you, dear reader, is a set of 4 Lexus, year 2000, LS 400 Repair Manual’s published by The Overseas Service Division of The Toyota Motor Corporation ( in the USA ). apparently now no longer available from the supplier I imported these directly at considerable expense awhile ago. these tomes remain unused, unopened and sealed in their original shrink wrap ! ….you really, really have to love, indeed adore, your Lexus ( in this case The LS 400 ) to invest in these 4 comprehensive technical bible’s ! copy for the forthcoming ad is currently under construction but I am delighted, to release to you all, the associated photo’s that will follow the ad !… I shall return 😳🙄😲☹️ anthony

….apologie’s for slight delay in responding - my Lexus LS 400 was working today collecting and returning home 6 ladie’s ( not all at once 😲! ) from a social centre c 20 miles’s from my home location ! Ken, thank you for your kind note and following the so kind post from Malcolm, 19 hour’s ago, was going to throw a cloak over the continuing storyline and assume the Christine adventure as concluded. ☹️. am rethinking, now 😲. however, being a dutiful Member, albeit a humble Contributor, of The Lexus Owner’s Club UK, I felt duty bound to respond to another honourable Member’s post ! would be good to keep The Car in Scotland, I agree with you Ken. she / him / other has become used to free parking, no rush hour’s, low volume traffic flow’s, no gridlock’s, few if any ANPR vehicle’s and low labour cost’s ( excluding the Big 5 Citie’s ) 😃 ! as a, now deregistered, ex M25 Parking Permit Holder - these benefit’s are unthinkable in The South ! I well know, having spent 69 year’s there ! 🙄. Malcolm, re your post concerning boot’s, following pix refer: anthony …..the 4 boot’s were £550 delivered, free (?) fitting by 5* refurber!

….Malcolm - just wow ! thank you anthony

…..congratulation’s to every one of my reader’s 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 we just smashed through our / my target of 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎈2.000 View’s 🥇🏆🏅🎖️!! 🎉🎊🎈for my Lexus LS 400 in the For Sale section on The Lexus Owner’s Club UK site !! next target is 3.000 View’s 🎉🎊🎉 - we can do this, between us !😃😲🙄 I thank you all, humbly, for all your interest and support and I know many of you make regular return visit’s to keep up to date with our latest post’s. took the liberty (🫣🤫🤭) of just placing a very brief ad topic on the Lexus Owner’s Club UK Central Forum site - might add 1 or 2 extra ?🤫 …..video shortly of my demise by our splendid Moderator’s…..l🫣🫣🫣🪓🔪💣🗡️⚔️ anthony

….Hugh, thank you for your note. any opinion’s expressed are, of course, merely personal and in no way represent those of anybody else, except, moi ! remember well the Volvo 760 and 790 - much used by the Swedish Goverment fleet, at the time. 68 year’s driving? yes, would refer you to my post of last Saturday @ 13.30 hour’s. was ploughing dead straight-line furrow’s ( no gps, then 😳 🚜 ) on a farm near Barnstaple - 1956. 😲 anthony

…..Malcolm, yes. £460 for 5 year Ceramic Wax+ Headlanp Polish + Windscreen coating.

….Steve, thank you for your note. how much do you want for your Torch ? Malcolm has promised me I can increase the sale price of my year 2000 Lexus LS 400 by £2000 to £6.495 if you sell it to me - now ! 😃 anthony

…..not again - but yes ! 🙄 mystery solved re my request for the oddball button under the dash of my Lexus LS 400 . the depressing of ‘the pin’ turn’s the ‘ bong’s’ on and off ! anthony

….thank you Malcolm for your raising the 1997 - 2000 Lexus LS 400 headlamp polycarbonate (?) issue. yes, when I purchased The Car the headlamp lens’s were, indeed, obscure / cloudly. £45 later all returned (and have remained since) as new ! follow-on info refers: anthony ps: £750 now for the ceramic wax prep and application !

….hello again - this appear’s to be my 50th post within 7.5 day’s 🙄 . further to my last post, like Christine ( 1958 Plymouth Fury - similar to Savoy ), I hope and pray when the bale of scrap is ejected by the crusher one does not hear the faint sound of ‘rock’n roll is here to stay’ by Danny and The Junior’s …..if you hear that, the b***dy LS 400 is comping back ! 😲 anthony

….what doe’s not work or is irrepairable on my year 2000 Lexus LS 400 ? ☹️ this, understandably, with the odometer currently showing 170.688 mile’s, is likely to be an extended litany of broken and / or non operating feature’s / control’s and electronic system’s 😲. eye’s down, everyone 🙄, this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ! 🙄: * the head light high pressure spray washer’s do not work 😲! the motor hum’s so , surprise, surprise the nozzles will be obstructed with detritus. I hear the ripple of discontent amongst you all - some already making for the exit’s in disgust ! ☹️ the cause is lost - this Car is not going to sell. now ! please raise your hand, of those of you remaining, if you have ever used this feature ? thought not - in 68 year’s of non incident driving, not once ( following introduction ) have I ever needed, desired or been inclined to want to wash my headlight’s. have alway’s thought spraying muddy headlight’s cannot be effective ! wiper blade’s - maybe. owned a mint MB A124 cabriolet for many year’s ( significant other adored it! ) fitted with a blade cleaning system. keen to maintain the condition visited local Main Dealer for 2 h/l wiper blades’s - £46 please, sir !😲…ordered/ purchased, of course- had to have them ! *speedometer needle, occasionally, stick’s at 0 mph on starting car and proceeding to move ! a damn good spank to the left of centre on the instrument cowl quickly resolve’s this very intermittent problem ! 🤪 *the, actually a Pioneer, 7 speaker ( include’s rear shelf base woofer 🐕‍🦺 ), FM/LW, CD player system’s all work perfectly - the Cassette Player remain’s untested ( collection now in landfill ☹️ ). how much better can the Mark Levinson system be in the Lexus LS 430 ? - doubt much. by October ‘21 I wanted an in-car DAB / phone upgrade. the local Halford’s store was tasked with installing The Pure Highway DAB ( @ £179 ) add-on kit, complete with wireless remote control fitted on the centre console. initially, the system worked well - miraculously, to me, the Highway name was displayed on the Radio display screen ! then the DAB transmission’s became corrupted ( only listen to Radio 2, Radio 4 and Radio 4 Extra - what a sad old ‘git am I 😳 ). long story short, the Pioneer system was now elderly and was unable to sustain a DAB signal-£149 away 🙄 ! maybe a replacement receiver unit could deliver a signal - seen them for £100 on flea bay. ( my first post doe’s confess the system is ‘wired up’ 🙄 ). incidentally, the historic LS 400 problem of pixelating digital display’s was long gone on this, the final serie’s of the Lexus LS 400’s - they all display, fine ! 😃 * an irrepairable issue ? a chip, the size of half a match head, on driver’s side of windscreen. on screen when purchased. approached national screen supplier ( name start’s with auto ) for their mobile team to simply fill chip - they declined my invitation and recommended a £600+ screen replacement, thank you but no thank you Auto…..! Halford’s filled chip for £40 ! I can’t see chip driving in a forward direction it’s that minute - mot guy did, though - has to list it for the rest of time ( unless you want to spend 14%+ of the sale price to replace it ! ) 🙄 🙄 ….and there we have it, dear reader, my Lexus LS 400 is 23.5 year’s old - 170.688 miles showing and just 3 item’s listed as not correct ! listen to me, the Car cost c £ 55.000 in the year 2000, that is £ 101.500 in today’s money ! frankly, I am disgusted, outraged and find it totally intolerable and unacceptable that this, flagship, vehicle from such a highly regarded and respected manufacturer ( Lexus ) is , clearly, in such an appalling and near undriveable condition - as I write this I am quivering with both rage,anger and frustration. shame on you, Lexus ! yes, my Lexus LS40 is still For Sale at £4.495 but, based on the above, outrageous and appalling review, I beseech you, indeed pray, YOU WILL NOT PURCHASE this vehicle - let me take the hit, let it be my cross and penance to bear, I shall thrash it unmercifully to within an inch of it’s life with an ash tree branch until such time I can arrange to have the car collected and cast into the bowel’s of a local Crusher - perhaps, to join her ( him or other ) wicked / evil sister, Christine in the great scrap yard in the sky ! RIP OYY 655 ! 😲😲😲 anthony 😃

….please be advised I have, with immediate effect, added a third t&c to The Sale of my Lexus LS 400: if you, a Lexus Owner’s Club Member or non-member, reside in Northern Ireland I am pleased to advise you the block on purchasing my Car has now been waived ! research show’s selling a car to Northen Ireland is identical to selling a car in Great Britain ! 🙂 ….first come - first served at this price ( £ 4.495 ! ). anthony ps. …sorry, Eire, the embargo remain’s. ☹️

….wow ! have just been notified I have been granted a promotion to Contributor with the associated Badge ! thank you, so much, Lexus Owner’s Club ! ….the sleeve’s on my green jumper ( see Cub post ) are filling up - fast ! anthony

….thank you, Hugh - an interesting observation ! the fact is, this is the second conversation, (the other, last Saturday pm), I have had with a Lexus PR executive at the Lexus LS Tahara plant in Aichi, Japan !🤔 name withheld for dp. he called me as early as last Tuesday intrigued and impressed with my LS 400 post’s and requested a zoom interview call - I willingly accepted. Hugh, I merely posted the playback conversation, verbatim, following translation, as I speak fluent Japanese..😳. more likely, Hugh, I just have to be different to everybody else ! alway’s want to ‘break the mould’ and be the First. 45 year’s in sale’s has meant my life has been target driven and target led ! continuous self analysis show’s I am a Lone Wolf / Sigma Male-search them - that’s me ! 😳 yes, The Border’s is off the main shipping lane’s, certainly. this month make’s 11 year’s in Scotland following 69 in se / sw London, Surrey, Berkshire and Hampshire. curiously, have never, once, had to pay for parking, here - must have saved thousand’s ! 😃 sayonara, Hugh anthony ps: anyone know the existing record for the number of page’s in the Cars For Sale section? 😃

….yes there are Malcolm.. * imminent post concerning what does not work on my Lexus LS 400. * another post, under consruction, as to why one would want to own a 170.000 mile + Lexus LS 400 versus other, affordable, V8 engined car’s. * maybe, a current MOT review ( valid to April 2025 ! ). * spontananeous LS 400 thought’s ? have a feeling Lexus Owner’s Club Member’s, and non member’s, (now 1.600+), are reluctant to proceed to purchase my Lexus LS 400 because they know, after 45 post’s, on-going contribution’s will abruptly, cease ! 😳 . anthony

….tell me, Anthony, what has disappointed you about your year 2000 Lexus LS 400 during your near 3 year ownership ? yes certainly, er, wait - I’m still thinking, er two thing’s… and they would be ? 1. the horn - when you sound it people, naturally, turn to look for the source of the sound, expecting to see a Dacia Sandero ( love’em ), or similar budget brand. instead they see a Lexus LS flagship limousine, just odd ! 😳 2. the glove box - the high level cd player access lid has a beautiful precision, damped opening action - similar to Bang and Olufsen’s hi-fi unit’s. when you unlock the low level glove box lid it drop’s down, noisily, crashing into the retainer bracket, just odd ! 😳 ….thank you, Anthony.. ….you are so welcome..

….Qamar - hello, and thank you for your suggestion and kind comment. alarm hi/lo volume control ? mmm unless there are 2 default sound level’s that is what it is, then. the control (pin) does not rotate like a volume control. you press the pin In, and it lock’s flush with the surrounding panel - press again, it spring’s out protruding from the panel ! ? Will run with alarm volume control subject to any other idea’s. thank you, again Qamar anthony