Was upstairs earlier (on LOC, actually), heard a commotion downstairs.
Went out to see four scallies taking off in a white transit (J970 ANW - eBay verified). Turns out the first noise I heard was my mastic gun (that was hanging on the back door handle) falling to the floor (because they tried my back door!), also got them on CCTV trying the door handle on the Rover 220 Tomcat parked in my drive.
Cops are out looking for the van now, they've got printouts from my CCTV too! Back door handle's bagged up for fingerprinting. Rover's now in the garage, boxed in with a double-immobilised Carina II.
B*****ds!