Rabbers

Good idea in theory. I suspect that’s why the cats were frightened off a neighbour’s car and decided to frequent mine, but that’s still not a good enough reason to de-badge and thus demote my Lexus.

No, and nor can you exchange your gulls for the pigeons I forgot to mention.

Yes, in an automotive context I suppose cats are preferable to squirrels, though I’ve never had occasion to compare their pees from any olfactory or visual standpoint. At least cats don’t hoard acorns and nuts or, as far I know, gnaw through wires and cables. But you have to admit that squirrels, on the whole, are more cuddly than some cats. Amazing that the dealer fixed the heater matrix under warranty.

I think you underestimate the likely skill and perseverance of cats in getting around, under, or over any electric fence of less than Guantanamo size and quality.

I am more concerned about the prospect of kittens being hidden inside the engine compartment with consequences that don’t bear thinking about.

I would normally consider any cats who choose a Lexus to be highly discerning creatures wholly deserving of my affection, but the ones in question treat my car like a squat and have therefore incurred my wrath. The eviction notice I have served on them is further justified, I feel, by the fact that I have neighbours whose cars would offer the local feline population equally comfy accommodation.

That’s highly creative thinking, David, but I think the RSPCA (if it still exists) might object.

Alex, aren’t potent citrus scents going to eat into my nice paintwork? If so, I prefer the cats.

I’m going to research the acoustic device further, but I have to confess that I was somewhat freaked out by Donk’s post.

Tried that too, Peter. Momentarily effective, but creates wipe-and-dry work as result of splatters.

Tried that. Two coats best carnauba. Doesn’t work.

I’ve recently had a cat - or, more likely, several cats - leaving paw-prints after walking on my bonnet, and leaving hair after taking naps between it and my windscreen. I had the same problem a few years ago, and resorted to the use of a so-called “cat-deterrent” spray (whose name I don’t recall), albeit with mixed results. In fact, I came to the conclusion that some cats might even have developed a liking for the stuff. Any advice would be much appreciated, e.g. have there been any recent advances in cat-deterrence technology, etc., etc.?

Usually not, but in this case, given the time, the place, and the product, yes I did.

Anthony, imagining what designers twenty or more years ago would do today is perhaps a bit of a stretch but perfectly fair on your part. Not sure that pointing to modified BMWs and Audis as sources of inspiration is worthy of a Lexus, but that’s personal bias on my part. On the other hand, further confusing people who already think the SC430 might be a new model by now painting the grille sounds like a highly satisfying plan to me!

Admirable thinking, Glyn, which should generally be applied, in my view, to all manner of prized artefacts, whether industrially produced or hand-crafted.

Of course, Anthony and Glyn, you should do exactly as you please in modifying the looks of your SC430s, but wouldn’t it be more appropriate to try and restore so beautiful a car to the appearance originally intended by its designers?

Malc, I’m guessing your sad-face reaction relates to my rude comment about the original LS400, but you should remember this was 1990. My tastes have moved on since then. At the time I confess I was more than a little dazzled by the hype and razzmatazz of what must have been one of the first and biggest Lexus dealerships. Certainly I had seen nothing remotely like it in Europe. I remember eight well-waxed LS400s, mainly silver, some blue, each with its own set of spotlights, arranged in a circle around a mammoth sales desk from which a salesman of appropriate Japanese-American ethnicity held forth with wondrous, albeit somewhat cloying, fluency. No doubt it was a vision of Paradise for LS lovers.

And there was I thinking The Guardian was one of the last bastions of literacy notwithstanding its contents.

I suspect this is an evolutionary revision of consumer messaging on the part of Lexus’ ad agency in order to broaden the marque’s original image from being excessively U.S.-centric. I first heard the Luxury Export United States explanation in 1990 as part of a salesman’s spiel in a flagship Lexus dealership in Chicago close to my employer’s HQ, and I don’t think you can get closer to the horse’s mouth than that. Please don’t get the idea I was in the market for an LS400 as a company car back in Europe (I actually thought it was too big and too flashy). The price converted from dollars was about twice my entitlement. I had merely tagged along for a lunchtime visit with a couple of droolingly enthusiastic senior colleagues whose hankering for one was ultimately frustrated by our Chairman’s hatred, as a Pacific War veteran with bad memories, for all things Japanese.

I previously thought (and still think) that LEXUS is a compression of the acronym L.EX.US meaning LUXURY.EXPORT.UNITED STATES, by which code was the Toyota corporation originally denoted its project of designing and producing a high-quality marque initially intended for the U.S. market. An added bonus derived from a semantic association with the Latin word “LEX”, meaning “LAW”, which carries the connotation of a very high standard to which all employees associated with the project should adhere and prospective customers understand, i.e. the marque purported to lay down the law by which quality standards should be judged. Clearly, the association with masculine singular Latin nouns ending in “-us” is purely coincidental, and therefore in no way contradicts the correctness, in English, of the plural form of the proper noun LEXUS being LEXUSES. Having said all this I nevertheless continue to believe that one should use whatever plural form of the name takes one’s fancy or trips easiest off the tongue (or keyboard).

I doubt if Lexus customers, wherever they are, can realistically argue, even on the basis of occasional or single-dealer cross-border experiences, whether services are better in some countries than others, or whether dealer issues vary in nature and importance. No doubt Lexus/Toyota management has standard performance monitoring methods of its own in place through local subsidiaries, and the country-by-country data thereby gathered will in the first instance serve to objectively assess how well or badly individual country managements operate and control the activities of their dealer networks. As customers we are not privy to this data. All we know, regardless of country, is that some dealerships reportedly give better service than others, refuting the historical claim that all Lexus dealers provide good service all of the time. Of course, this benchmark claim was never true and would have been better expressed in terms of likelihoods in respect of Lexus' competitors. The question is whether these likelihoods are getting slimmer, and if so, why? As for me - and I believe for most of us - dealer/customer relations remain good and the service I receive satisfactory,, and long may this last.

No.

The LS disappeared from the French and Italian Lexus websites for a few months last year, only to reappear and, as of today, remain there.

I’m not sure about the customer selection being random since I get the email quality questionnaire (usually promptly the same evening) after every service or other job carried out by my dealer, so it is likely that the personnel can easily guess which customers have or have not deprived them of financial benefits. I understand these benefits are conditional to the average mark received by a dealer in a given number of questionnaires not dropping below 8.5/10, in which event an inspection by Lexus/Toyota will ensue, as it more quickly will if the low mark is accompanied by a number of seriously negative customer comments of an identifiably similar nature.

I drive through Liechtenstein maybe two or three times a year (which takes about 15 minutes if you keep to the speed limits, which is probably advisable), and have never been stopped, not even at the border points. In the unlikely event you are stopped, and unless your car poses an evident and serious safety risk, in which case it would be sequestered, any administrative irregularity would merely result in your being asked to leave the country forthwith. I base this on Swiss police practice, which I would guess Liechtenstein probably follows, as it does in most things.