Lol no Mike, they're not my jokes I'm afraid just my favourites :)
Here's one more...
A family decide to have a conservatory built onto their house one summer.
When the builders turn up the family's 8 year old daughter asks if she can help the builders as it's the school holidays and she's bored.
The builders take a shine to the little and give her her own hard hat, workmans gloves and safety goggles and then give her little jobs to do to make her feel important such as counting bricks etc...
At the end of the day the workmen put a couple of quid in a little brown envelope and give it to the girl as her "wages"
The little girl is absolutely thrilled by this and helps the builders every day until the job is complete and at the end of every day the builders give her her "pay packet"
When the job is complete the little girls mum realises her daughter has made about £20 so she decides to take her to the bank to open a child's savers account.
When they get to the bank the little girl proudly goes up to the cashier and says "I'd like to pay this in please"
The cashier says "wow that's a lot of money for a young girl, did you get this for your birthday?"
"No" replies the girl, "these are my wages"
"Wages?" Asks the cashier, "and what job did you have?"
"I was a builder, helping build my mummy and daddy's new conservatory" says the little girl.
"And did you do a good job and finish the work on time?" Asks the cashier
The little girl stops and thinks for a moment then replies,
"Of course I did a f***ing good job, I'm not some sort of f***ing cowboy! And we would have been done a day early if it wasn't for them cu**s at Jewson delivering the f***ing bricks late!!"