Mincey

Aren't you all missing one important thing though? Imagine. You're pootling along on one of Germany's Autobahns, minding your own business, a bit of soothing music coming through the stereo, your thoughts are on returning to your loved ones. The sun is out, the road is fairly clear. Progress can be made. Then suddenly, your rear view mirror is filled. It's Franz in his RS4 closely followed by Helmut in his C63 and Gunter in his M3, all separated by the thickness of a Rizla paper. Franz begins to flash his lights in an impatient attempt to get you to move out of his way. "I'm not having that Fritz" you think and you push your right foot down. The speed climbs. 70, 80, 90. You reach a ton, but the train of shiessewagens is still right up your chuff. 110, 120, 130, 140, 150 - they're still there. Press a bit harder. 155, 156, you look in your mirror. The gap now appears to be growing. 160, you look behind again. Franz is beating his steering wheel and making obscene Germanic gestures as he, Helmut and Gunter begin to fade into the distance as their girly speed limiters put an end to their futile attempts to keep up. You look once more in your rear view mirror and say in a calm voice "That's for Dunkirk, Jerry"

That is the best video I have seen in years!

I'd have to agree with the bit about the big grille looking like it would devour people. I'm forever removing small children and wildlife which have been sucked into the vents either side of mine.

They've all gone now sadly, otherwise I'd have been happy to oblige 😊

Wise words @Maxz and a lesson learned. I'll either walk or park in a safer area next time.

I read something last week about complaints that company fleet plug in hybrids weren't giving the massive mpg figures expected. This was put down to the drivers not being bothered to charge their company vehicles, as they didn't need to, and were just driving them around on the petrol engine all the time.

Ok, it's Valentine's Day. I was feeling uncharacteristically romantic and lovey-dovey and instead of wasting money on bunches of roses or trinkets from Pandora, I decided to pop along to my local Lidl and get Mrs Mincey one of her favourite Apple Turnovers. She's very particular about her Apple Turnovers and only Lidl's will do. I know how to treat a woman, make no mistake. The nearest Lidl has a car park which is generally rammed. The clientele appear to not have those long bendy things which are connected to their hips that allow walking. What are they called? Yes - legs, that's it. Walking any distance from their car to the shop appears to be an alien concept for most. Some of them even turn a blind eye to the rules regarding parking on double yellows and in disabled bays without having a blue badge, but let's not go there. That's a topic for another day, and I have digressed far too much already. The one saving grace about this particular Lidl, which compensates for the store management's habitual failure to open up extra checkouts when queues are stretching from the tills to the fresh meat section, is that their car park has a section around the back where few people park, because it's too far to walk to the entrance. I am one of those few people who park there. It means I can park in relative safety, without the worry of any scroats parking next to me, flinging their doors onto my car without any due care etc, and I don't mind the extra steps.Today I parked in that area. There were five other spaces next to it. Five free spaces. Five! My trusty steed was safe, or so I thought. After completing my mission to get my dear wife some Apple Turnovers (they were on three for two, so I was well chuffed), I survived the interminable wait in the queue at the checkout, which was nearly back to the fresh meat section, paid and left. As I left the store and made my way back to my car, my heart, which had previously been soaring due to the three for two offer, sank. Someone had parked right next to my car. I don't mean "next to" as in "next to, but with enough room to open doors without knocking seven shades of [expletive deleted] out of the adjacent car", but "next to" as in "next to with a gap which only a Victorian Chimney Sweep could squeeze in through". I was not happy. I'm still not happy. The offending car was an ancient Passat or some other similar German shiessewagen. There was someone standing next to it, smoking a fag with an air of dodginess about him. An accomplice then appeared out of the bushes, also smoking a fag. I fear to imagine what he had been up to, but safe to say, it was more than likely no good. I am currently thanking the Gods of Good Luck that I was able to get out of Lidl as quickly as I did otherwise I am sure that they were preparing to jack my car up and use all force necessary to rip the catalytic converter off. The bastards. After squeezing my pie enhanced frame into my car, it was with a sense of great trepidation that I pressed the start button. Had I returned too late? Would it purr, or would it sound like a Massey Ferguson tractor or worse, a 1988 Vauxhall Astra diesel? Luckily it purred. As I drove out, I gently patted my car's dashboard and promised her that I would never, ever put her in such a dangerous position again. Next February 14th, my wife will just receive a card and be happy with it.

It was definitely discs - I was surprised that they needed to be changed so often, and blamed my driving style! I also had the "we charged you for refilling your already brimming washer reservoir" a couple of times until I left a note in the car to say don't bother.

Slightly off topic, whenever I took my second IS200 to the main dealer for a service, they'd change the discs. When I stopped using the main dealer and had my local chap look after it, i'd get four or five services out of a set. I've always found this curious....

...and also don't forget that a Lexus isn't designed to automatically veer into the rightmost lane of any multiple lane carriageway ;-)

Much against my wishes, SWMBO took the now operational iQ to Kwikfit yesterday for four new tyres. Over the phone she'd been quoted £43 each for budget rubber. When she arrived at the appointed time, the budget tyres had - wait for it, and you won't believe this, been sold, and now only Super Duper Carlos Fandango Pirellis for £65+ were available. SWMBO isn't to be messed with though, and when she threatened to go elsewhere, the Pirellis suddenly came down in price. Not to the price of the budget tyres, but near enough to make it more palatable than going elsewhere. Me, I'd have taken it to the local independent tyre and exhaust place who have served me and my family well for 30+ years and refused to attend the course on ripping punters off. Why do I not like Kwikfit? I harbour grudges. Many years ago when I was young, naive and really should have known better, I took my 1.2 Nova there to have a new exhaust fitted. "Oh dear Sir, we've given your car a courtesy shock absorber test, and one of them is leaking. They must be fitted in pairs you know, but it's your lucky day, we have two in stock....". Never, ever again. Ever.

There's a thread on Honest John's forum about cat theft and there's a feeling that it's not as common as the media would like us to think. https://www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/134325/auris-catalytic

Can't argue with that!

Do we know if any IS cats have been nicked so far?

I'm going to commission someone to make me some new badges for my car, which I'm going to re-designate a "Lexus IS300C". I'll change the badge on the boot and the two "Hybrid" badges on the side will be replaced by "Cataless" badges. Problem solved! 😉

"the favourite place for a mobile speed camera is after a long straight on a left hand bend. " - that's exactly where I was caught. It was the fairest of fair cops though, and an expensive lesson to learn.

Exactly. Wise words my friend!

I had to give mine full beans for the first time today. Joining a dual carriageway with dawdlers in front, there was space to go straight out into the safety of the outside lane. In my IS250, I'd have had to kick it down and wait for the gearbox to sort itself out, but I just squashed the rightmost pedal into the carpet and whoosh - off it went. No drama, nothing. Just, as Mr Clarkson would say, "POWER!" I was impressed. Yes the CVT full chat engine noise does take a bit of getting used to, but the acceleration is rapid - and silky smooth - enough. Was I really doing 85mph in such a short space of time? No Officer, I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. I've been on a speed awareness course you know (and trying to be very, very good for the next three years...)

Here is a post script to the story, as I'm sure you're all dying to know the outcome. A very, very nice man from the AA has just been. Having more experience of these things than I do, he held the keyblade in a pair of pliers, and put it into the lock. After applying some careful brute force, boom - the door unlocked. The car runs perfectly, but the battery needs replacing. I'm just off to Halfords to use my LOC discount card to get a replacement. I will then be stopping at Sainsbury's for some soap and a towel, because once the battery is fitted, I shall be washing my hands of the car. Thanks everyone for your advice here - the AA chap did mention putting power to the starter motor/alternator but then said given the proximity of the car to the wall, it would have been hard work!

The same trick worked for me after a battery change. Being a bloke, I didn't read the manual either, I just googled it once it became annoying!

That's just nuts - £183 for a mirror after all that detective work? I'm off to buy some cotton wool to wrap my car in.

Having been relieved of £700 for a replacement back exhaust section for my IS250, I shouldn't have been surprised. This was surprising though (I haven't checked all the details, but it looks ok at first glance). Roll up, roll up. For the price of just over two single wheels from Lexus, you can have, wait for it, not one, not two, not even three, but four, yes four new wheels which look pretty much identical. With tyres. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/AC-Winter-Alloy-Wheels-Snow-Tyres-18-For-Lexus-IS-300h-Mk3-13-19/392495922169?fits=Car+Make%3ALexus|Cars+Year%3A2018&hash=item5b62947bf9:g:WrAAAOSwCB1dsFxw It was a search for winter tyre fitted spares which prompted all of this.

Ouch!

The 3M tape suggested by @C Mclean has arrived. As long as it's not sub zero tomorrow (I've got Man Flu - not far off that Coronavirus thing I'm sure) I will wash the car and put some on the three so far pristine handle recesses. I also wondered whether there were any spare wheels on ebay to replace my wounded nearside front. It has gone now, but the Lexus ebay store had an 18" F Sport wheel at a price which indicated it was £480ish for one. I naturally assumed that this was a mistake and it was for a set of four, but umm..... was it?

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Here is what Highways England told me: Grantham has roads which form part of the Strategic Road Network. This means that Highways England can accurately calculate the travel time to the centre in real time and display this on the Travel Time Variable Message System (TTVMS). The next TTVMS is between junctions 34 and 35 which gives travel time to junction 41 which is the M62 junction for Wakefield. I will now be lobbying my local MP to make Peterborough part of the Strategic Road Network.