A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his
wife; so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to
build his self-esteem, and so he gave him a book on assertiveness, which
he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that "I"
am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal
tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a
sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath
so I can relax. And, when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going
to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The ****ing funeral director," said his wife.