Between 1990 and 2005, I visited India at least twice a month. If I had the required literary skill, I could probably write a book on the place. Malc and Jon have made two very valid points in; NEVER, EVER, drive in India and the fact that, although desperately poor, they are very friendly.
I'll just pick two of the many driving stories I have:
I wanted a car to travel 30 miles the next day, so I arranged a car AND driver at the desk in the hotel. I insisted that it had air-conditioning. 'Not a problem, Sahib'.
Next morning, there was an Austin Ambassador-based taxi with 'Air Conditioned' on the side. When I climbed in beside the smiling driver, I noticed the heat was stifling. This was the conversation......
Me: 'Can you turn on the air conditioning please?'
Driver: 'Sahib, it is not working'.
Me: 'I asked for a car with air conditioning'.
Driver: 'Sahib, it HAS got air conditioning - but it is not working'..............
On another occasion two of us wanted to visit an old fort about 40 miles from Delhi.......again in an Austin Ambassador taxi. We were soon in the middle of nowhere with not a soul in sight. The car coughed and steam belched from under the bonnet. We got out, the driver lifted the bonnet and it was obvious that the head gasket had blown. Our quizzical looks were met with 'Not a problem, Sahib'.
The driver went to the boot and took out a bucket with minimal tools in it. He then undid the head bolts and lifted off the head. In the meantime, as if by magic, a crowd had gathered - I have no idea where they came from.
We then noticed that the 'head gasket' was, in fact a piece of cardboard with 'Carnation Milk' still visible.......there was a split in it - the leak. He gave the bucket to a young boy with instructions to go and get some water. In the meantime, he went to the boot and re-appeared with another piece of 'Carnation Milk' cardboard, then using a knife and with the old gasket as a template, proceeded to 'manufacture' a new gasket.
He dropped it in position then replaced the head. The head-bolt tightening sequence was instructive......starting at the front, he hand tightened the first nut - then torqued it using a 3ft long bar. He carried on till all nuts were fitted - this is the head tightening sequence in India :)
The young lad had returned with, what looked like, a bucket of diluted mud.....this went in the radiator. Off we went to enjoy the old fort. We made it back to Delhi with no more technical problems.
Happy days!