Bricklayer's Accident Report

[ColinBarber]

Many of you may have already read this, however even if you have it's worth another read. Possibly the funniest email I have even been sent.

http://www-jcsu.jesus.cam.ac.uk/~mpj23/jok...kes/builder.htm

[BESTY]

is that for real colin ;)

[ColinBarber]

It's been floating around in emails for the last couple of years.

[BESTY]

It's been floating around in emails for the last couple of years.

mind you i have worked with clowns like that,i will take it as real

[jac114]

Trust me when i say i can totally believe it.. I work for a large (well the largest) builders merchant..and hear funny stories like that quite often.. and In fact was involved in a funny incident myself...

when I was 19 I worked as a labourer for a builder.. On this perticular day i was working with his son in a school

breaking up some floor screed that had been laid on top of incorrect fitted underfloor heating.. this was a new room in a dormatory that had just been built, We were under strict instructions to be very careful as they did not want to decorate again.. so out with the dust sheets and jack hammer.. unfortunatly we had been misled and told the water supply had been turned off. His son hit a hot water pipe just enough to pierce it and send a jet of water in the air.. In his mad panic about making a mess he proceeded to bash ten ton of s :tsktsk: t out of the pipe with a club hammer to try and stop the flow. at this time he did not think about the pool of water around the pipe that was now dirty water splashed up the wall.. after his beating the pipe.. Again in a panic to clean the wall as ceiling he went out of the room to get a step ladder. On re-entering the room he shot passed me and hit the ceiling light (glass shade unpturned) which fell off.. Lucky at this point i was underneath and caught without it breaking.phew .. So he set about trying to clean down the wall. which he managed quite well.. By saying that i mean he managed to remove post of the paint..as it was only matt emulsion.. anyway.. quick visit to the painter up the hall and got it all sorted painter was comming around in a bit to do a cover up for us.. Phew looked like we was going to get away with it... Until he came back in and picked up a dust sheet to move it.. said dust sheet just happend to contain the glass shade which i put in there for safe keeping. which by the way was now on the floor in about 1000 bits.. Doh.. Just to think we so nearly got away with it all..lol

jac

[Steve]

i had a accident at work.... I turned up!!!

nah.. i was working up above a workshop and the stairs were rickety and old

I was carrying stuff down to clear up and i had to bring some old 8ft flourecent bulbs down.. as I was walking down the stairs one of the stairs gave way.... i fell and all the other stairs broke like dominoes and i went through a glass door at the bottom....

to my suprise i had cut my wrist on the flourencent tube... but the cut was so clean it did not feel it and a load of builders were following the blood to find me there outting the kettle on

Felt queezy after that.. but got a few days off work coz of the stitches

:winky:

[wildrnes]

ah this actually happens on almost a daily basis, the only things missing are

the barrel is made of asbestos

the roof is made of asbestos

there is no roof protection/ scaffolding

no ppe

the building is made of asbestos (including asbestos glass)

it is near a school /dogs home/ retirement home/ convent (yes really)

the builder was sacked before making the complaint

he was sacked because of asbestos

and the builder wants to remain anonymous cos he may loose his job

[BESTY]

Trust me when i say i can totally believe it.. I work for a large (well the largest) builders merchant..and hear funny stories like that quite often.. and In fact was involved in a funny incident myself...

when I was 19 I worked as a labourer for a builder.. On this perticular day i was working with his son in a school

breaking up some floor screed that had been laid on top of incorrect fitted underfloor heating.. this was a new room in a dormatory that had just been built, We were under strict instructions to be very careful as they did not want to decorate again.. so out with the dust sheets and jack hammer.. unfortunatly we had been misled and told the water supply had been turned off. His son hit a hot water pipe just enough to pierce it and send a jet of water in the air.. In his mad panic about making a mess he proceeded to bash ten ton of s :tsktsk: t out of the pipe with a club hammer to try and stop the flow. at this time he did not think about the pool of water around the pipe that was now dirty water splashed up the wall.. after his beating the pipe.. Again in a panic to clean the wall as ceiling he went out of the room to get a step ladder. On re-entering the room he shot passed me and hit the ceiling light (glass shade unpturned) which fell off.. Lucky at this point i was underneath and caught without it breaking.phew .. So he set about trying to clean down the wall. which he managed quite well.. By saying that i mean he managed to remove post of the paint..as it was only matt emulsion.. anyway.. quick visit to the painter up the hall and got it all sorted painter was comming around in a bit to do a cover up for us.. Phew looked like we was going to get away with it... Until he came back in and picked up a dust sheet to move it.. said dust sheet just happend to contain the glass shade which i put in there for safe keeping. which by the way was now on the floor in about 1000 bits.. Doh.. Just to think we so nearly got away with it all..lol

jac

the good old building trade,one time an old lady brought me a cuppa,i was hanging some doors upstairs in her house,i took the tea off her and sat on an old wooden chest worth a bit of coin, yes i put my a r s e right through it,she wasnt best pleased.never spilled a drop of t :)

[dipstick]

Excellent story, and it's true the old ones are the best. I remember hearing that being told by Ken Dodd on stage when I was six, so that was 35 years ago, and I'm reasonably certain he got it from Max Miller!

Lots of "And on the way down he met the bricks coming up..."

"and the on the way up, yes you've got it Missus..."

Still laugh at it now though!