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Joke

Bazza-old

By Bazza-old
in Lexus Owners Club Lounge

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Bazza-old Veteran

Bazza-old

Posted
Posted

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that read £50.

"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first ... that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes he says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room, and waited for it to say something. The bird carefully looked around the room, then it looked at her and said, "New house ... new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "That's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the parrot looked at both of them, and said, "New house ... new madam ... new hookers."

The girls were at first a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the whole situation.

She then began to think about how to explain this to Keith, her husband. Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work. Before he had time to close the door, the bird took one look at him and said, "Hi Keith."

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Scorpion Grand Master

Scorpion

Posted
Posted

Happiness is LOC waiting for you to go on holiday............

1)no more posts from Bazza,post whore(almost)

2)no more bad jokes(this one were'nt bad)

no doubt you'll be taking a laptop with you or you'll find a internet cafe somewhere

just to keep us updated,with more duff jokes :lol:

only kidding,have a wicked time wherever your going :winky: :winky:

is this :offtopic:

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Bazza-old Veteran

Bazza-old

Posted
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Happiness is LOC waiting for you to go on holiday............

1)no more posts from Bazza,post whore(almost)

2)no more bad jokes(this one were'nt bad)

no doubt you'll be taking a laptop with you or you'll find a internet cafe somewhere

just to keep us updated,with more duff jokes :lol:

only kidding,have a wicked time wherever your going :winky: :winky:

is this :offtopic:

yes you can all have a rest from me

no connections to the modern world

so no bad jokes (at least i try)

no posts for a week

and no lexus :crybaby:

got 4 oclock flight in morning so it might be a long night :crying:

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UKPulse Mentor

UKPulse

Posted
Posted

So you'll probably be on that flight right now, and missing the Lex & the forums already.

...and you won't be there when Lexus call to say you won the trip to Milan, so you'll forfeit & the holiday will go to meeeeee! Mwaahahaaaa! :devil: :winky:

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Steve Grand Master

Steve

Posted
Posted

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus.

He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar

that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical

instrument in the world." Everyone in the bar laughs at the man,

calling him an idiot. So he says that he will wager £50 to anyone

who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A customer walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus.

Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing

better than Jimmy Hendrix.The guitar owner pays up the £50.

Another customer walks up with a trumpet.

This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis. The

trumpet-owner coughs up the £50. Then Jim, a Scotsman plonks some

bagpipes on the table.

The octopus fumbles with the bagpipes for a minute and then backs

Off with a confused look.

Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye nae plae it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to sh*g it

as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off."

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Bazza-old Veteran

Bazza-old

Posted
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Posted
Welcome to the club ...

Think we used to have someone else here with a red car like yours...

Anyway, you'll find we're a loyal and friendly bunch ....

Welcome on board :D

:whistling:

and i thought those red ones were scarce

seems like everyone got one now :whistling:

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