Monday's Joke

[LexAzur]

A man staggered into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple

bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asked him what happened.

"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of

golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our ball into a

pasture of cows.

We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I

noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over

and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my

wife's monogram on it--stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."

"That's when I made my big mistake." "What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

"I don't remember much after that."

Job Opening

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background

checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two

men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal

door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your

instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you

will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" "The man said,

"You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife" The agent said,

"Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go

home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and

went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came

out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The

agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,

to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were

heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on

the walls.After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly

and there stood the woman, She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun

is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the

chair."

MORAL: Women are evil -- Don't mess with them!!!!!

[TommyH]

LOL very good.