Paradise........

[SHAHZ]

.......A typical Yorkshire bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided

to take a holiday.

He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life,

that is, until the ship sank.

He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing,

only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach

one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when

my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with

you." "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw

material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree

branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came

from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the

island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I

fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron.

I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she

docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls

off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow

painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the

man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says

casually, "It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please.

Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I

can't take another drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," winks

the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down

on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman

announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you

like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom

cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.

There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two

shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a

swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically

positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit

down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to

him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's

something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've

been longing for?" She stares into his eyes ...

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..........." he swallows

excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.....

"F***ing hell don't tell me you've got Sky Sports as well?"

[Y2Kanjar]

lol funny

[DJ Wozza]

....."F***ing hell don't tell me you've got Sky Sports as well?"

" & an X-Box 360 with GTA4"

[Gord]

Lol im going to yorkshire next weekend :D

[Anees]

HA HA HA

[dibsLPG]

coming from Yorkshire i must say thats about spot on too... Cracker :P :D