The Irish Declare War On Iraq

[Steve]

Post by dosenöffner on the TOC forums

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The Irish War with Saddam...

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next

when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy,

down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform

you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed

important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is,

meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire

dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have

one million men in my army waiting to move on my

command."

"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is

still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have

16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased

my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get

back to you." Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein,

the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've

modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the

cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell

you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes.

My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile

sites.

And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.

Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints,

and decided there's no fookin way we can feed two million prisoners."

*** Bless the Irish!

[Chris.S]

[yemgi]

very funny

[javadude]

;)