Let The Seasonal Jokes Commence...

[Unregistered_User]

This Year's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

Jamie

[Ally]

Q Why is Santa's sack always full?

A Because he only comes once a year.

I had a sore throat last year after accidently eating some Xmas decorations. The doctor said i had a bad case of tinselitis.

[swfcdan]

Tapax have just announced that they are replacing the string on there tampons with tinsel in time for the christmas period.

*gets coat*

[Rory]

thats just nasty!

[Unregistered_User]

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?

A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?

A: Forty feet of track - all straight!

Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

A: Crisp Cringle.