Men Are From Mars Etc

[MacRS200]

Cribbed from an e-mail but hey I liked it.

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered

by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class

assignment:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new

form of writing called the tandem story.

The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to

his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the

first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that

paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first

paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also

sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third

paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been

written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be

absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say

must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a

conclusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two

of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

chamomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now

reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off

Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too

much her, asthma started acting up again. So, chamomile was out of the

question.

(second paragraph! by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now

in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the

neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had

spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he

said into his transgalactic communicator.

" Polar orbit established. All of a sudden, a particle beam flashed out of

nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the

direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one

last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever

had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless

hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law

Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",

Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited

her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when

the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, and

no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the

beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a

woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but Laurie had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands

of miles above the city, the Anudrian mother ship launched the first of its

lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the

Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth

a defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to

destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty,

the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to

pulverize and incinerate the entire planet.

With no one to stop them, the Anudrian aliens swiftly initiated their

diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missiles entered the atmosphere

unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters

located on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably

massive explosion, which instantly vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery

of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate

adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered, tedious, neurotic whose

attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I

have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no,

what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle

Steele novels!!"

(Rebecca)

As*h@le.

(Gary)

B*tch!

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gary)

In your wildest of dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.

[Noel]

ya that was good.... :D

[aido]

Now THAT is mega :D

[peter026]

Brilliant :D