A Letter From My Mum

[peter026]

Dear Paul,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within two miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a Faulty washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time and Aunt Sue said that the coat you wanted me to send you, would be too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral Directors and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning, I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl yet, so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle, which reminds me.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, then he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He wound down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Mum

[aido]

This is a classic, not seen it for years, used to have it as a handwritten letter, it's great, thanks for this one mate :)

[P4UL T]

That is soooo funny, esp this bit,

We got a bill from the funeral Directors and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

[spikes]

great