Gcse Exam Answers

peter026 · December 25, 2006

The following questions and answers were collected from last year's exam results (GCSE's). These are genuine responses!! (From 16year olds)! Classics

Geography

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A: Very important. s*x can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Biology

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?

A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (E.g. abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section."

A: The Cesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?

A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?

A: When you are sick at the airport

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

English

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Technology

Q: What is a turbine?

A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head

Tony-Bones · December 25, 2006

Quality .... So which question was wrong then?

fatpieman69 · December 25, 2006

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: What is a terminal illness?

A: When you are sick at the airport

English

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

there my favourite, surely some of these were thought out because some are quite cleaver (unless there really really stupid)

PMSL