Top 10 Places To Dump Your Other Half In London

[Continunity]

10 Places to Dump Your Partner

Trafalgar Square

If you just want to say it, get it over and done with and then ***** for a beer then you can't beat Trafalgar Square. Say your piece, wait for the reply, then point over his/her shoulder and shout, "look - it's a pigeon crapping on the head of a Danish tourist". When he/she is unable to resist turning round, you sprint off into the crowds, leaving your ex and most of your credibility behind.

Columbia Road Flower Market

Suitable for those awkward situations when you're unsure about ending a relationship, but feel you should do it anyway. If you change your mind half way through, then you're in the right place - just buy the first bunch of flowers you see, apologise and make up.

Wigmore Hall

Bit of a gamble this one. Take your soon-to-be-ex to a chamber music recital at the Wigmore Hall. When the music reaches a quiet and melodious section, hand your partner a note with thoughts scribbled down, and then bolt for the door. The music may help to sooth their mood and it is fairly unlikely that they will react with shouts and screams, as the consequences of this (in such a serious concert hall) would be extreme.

On a packed tube at rush hour

You'll already be so ****** off that having your partner squealing abuse at you won't make very much difference. Don't worry about the audience - you'll never see any of them again!

Speakers Corner

Get up on your soapbox, and announce to your partner (and the motley selection of hangers-on) that you've seen the light, the end of the world is nigh, and that you've had enough of him/her. Easy when you know how, eh?

Alexandra Palace Ice Rink

Only if you're a better skater than your partner. Drag him/her to the middle of the rink, tell them the bad news, and then speed skate to the edge and escape. The only danger is that he/she might draw attention to your crime - you don't want to be "Tonya Harding-ed" in the changing rooms…

La Gavroche

This spectacularly expensive (but also awesomely good) restaurant provides a couple of dumping options. If you're a generous sort then you will explain the problem, accept the angry reply, and finish your meal in peace, knowing that you'll be remembered as a very generous dumper.

If you're a *****/bitch you'll escape to the loo, write a note, get the waiter to deliver it to your table and then run. Your partner will then have to deal with a £300 restaurant bill on top of the angst you'll have just caused. Only for special occasions… (read our review of La Gavroche - book a table)

Reptile House @ London Zoo

When your just let down partner rounds on you with the words, "You dirty snake!" at least you'll be able to peer through the glass and confidently remark to yourself that you're definitely not a reptile.

Imperial War Museum

Another psychological boost this one. Whatever evil you are accused of, it won't compare to anything you'll have learned about in this place.

Heathrow Airport

If none of the above sound suitable, buy yourself a flight somewhere distant and exotic, phone your partner from the departure lounge, and disappear for ever. Well, till your credit card company catch up with you…

*shamelessly pilfered from another site*

hehe.. good tho

[Monster-Mat]

what about the thames

[Continunity]

i think the idea was to not commit a major felony in the process :D