Dilema

[tdiplc]

A mate of mine has the following predicament, which is interesting.

He is a married (in all but the paperwork) with three adored kids. He is happy enough except for in the boudoir dept as presumably the missus is tired due to looking after the kids.

The wife of a mutual friend who's best friend is married to a successful businessman has one kid and is very happy except for in the boudoir dept, and is looking for some very discreet extra action.

She is exceptionaly attractive and wants absolutely no strings attached except for the action, as she is well provided for.

My mate has been asked to see this girl every other week.

He has been completely faithful for 20 years.

The benefit of getting involved is that both him and the girl will be very happy.

The risk of anyone finding out is as low as possible.

The risk if anyone did find out is 2 broken homes

Is this a tough choice or not? What would you do? Have you been there?

[whitie]

Depends. I have a mate at work, who is doing the same sort of thing. and even though it started off as two people having a fling, feelings have now developed.

..and no its not me.... Even though I could do with it

[Steve]

hhhe you know what they say when they say "a friend of mine"

[Fargo]

lol how many kids do you have now mark...

seriously though, feelings will develop between the two, and the grass aint always greener,..,.and i have been there..with a previous relationship nto the currretn one i might add.

[Bazza]

seen it happen many times

never seen a good result yet !

worse thing is its the kiddies who suffer most

ask your mate wether he can cheat on his children, wether he could stand paying for their maintenance and only seeing them occaisonly

things can never return to what they were, once the trust has gone out of a relationship

best bet would be to work on what he has, with proper guidance it can work out and generally for the better

oh and would you have the girls no. by any chance ........

[Monster-Mat]

pah.you only live once.

hopefully the grass is well trimmed

[Plex]

Only the 2 people concerned can make the decision. If they go on someone else's advise there will always be the subconcious thought that they can blame someone else. When you have a get out clause like that you make mistakes and get found out and people get hurt. let them choose, if they can do it with clear conscience then cool. murphy's law: if something can go wrong it will (which actually means if you think something can go wrong you do your best to make it go wrong...just so you can say I knew it would go wrong)

[Rodders_UK]

Your friend should perhaps ask himself how he would feel if HIS partner was the other woman - trust is very important in a relationship

[Claire G]

If he's not happy in that department he should speak with his wife about it - not always the easiest of subjects but at least he'll give her an opportunity to try and address the situation.

If that's the only problem in the relationship, they should try counselling or a holiday - she's probably too bloomin' tired with 3 kids. A previous colleague swore by a herbal thing called Clary Sage - reckons it did wonders for his wife's libido!!!

[mudzs]

Your friend should perhaps ask himself how he would feel if HIS partner was the other woman - trust is very important in a relationship

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damm right finish one relationship before starting another ,or try to sort out the problems at home before creating another which it will .perhaps the wife needs a little help with the kids so she is not so tired all the time.I have seen this happen so many times and there is never a happy ending ,plus your friend who has been faithfull for twenty years will probaly suffer from a very guilty consience.

[Monster-Mat]

just like to point out.........

i was Joking., on my last post

we can all give advice, but ultimatly Marks friend, will make his own choice, we have to live to accept them, we can all make comment and pass judgement, but we are NOT in this situation, and so cannot speak as though we are.

[gazza200]

Easy one this.... PASS HER OVER TO AIDO

As has been said before, what starts off as a bit of nsa fun always ends up with people getting hurt. Someone always ends up getting "feelings" and want's more or they just get found out.

Believe me things can't go back to normal when the truth comes out...when that trust is gone it never comes back!

Tell your mate not to take the easy way out and to make things work at home. Has he spoken to her, asked her whats wrong?

I know it's easier said than done but... 20yrs together and have 3 kids (it's gotta be worth working at)

Bloody hell I feel like Claire Rayner

[Bazza]

Bloody hell I feel like Claire Rayner 

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dear Claire,

i have this problem....................someone i know is hiding in the closet, his name is mat :P

[gazza200]

Bloody hell I feel like Claire Rayner 

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dear Claire,

i have this problem....................I wear Pink shirts :P

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Probably just the cold weather Barrie, it has that effect on men ;)

[javadude]

Hmmm... he should ask his wife to errr... sort him out if she's not in the mood. Helping with the kids and paying her attention outside the bedroom should be happening anyway but if not then he should take care of these first and that should help. Having an affair would be risking everything - marriage, kids, home. It would be stupid and very wrong.

[Kazi]

It would be rude not to really. There would no question about it, tell him to slip her one. :D

[Bazza]

Bloody hell I feel like Claire Rayner 

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dear Claire,

i have this problem....................I wear Pink shirts :P

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oi Mat ........ :shutit:

[tdiplc]

Thanks Peeps.

It seems to me that from a purely moral perspective the answer is a no brainer.

The trouble is that this girl is an absolutely stunning Russian blonde (Russsian girls are Premier League - none of this equality rubbish), with the right bits in the right places, and is seeking absolute discretion.

The chances of being found out are almost zero.

How many offers in a lifetime like this does a bloke get? Not many I reckon.

Very tempting, but worth the fallout?

[Fargo]

now s'pose the truth comes out, and you get put it he frame as knwoing about it all along.. OR what heppens when you gota cover for you mate, ie he tells his bird hes out with you.

[Bazza]

could he live with a :

GUILTY CONSCIENCE ;)

[Zee007]

Easy Solution: Give me the russian birds number...... :)

[tdiplc]

Easy Solution: Give me the russian birds number...... :)

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Sliding down the depravity scale, there's morally destitute, and then there's Zee

Nice one mate :D

[tdiplc]

Here's an update for those interested:

Mate number 1 passed the kind offer over to mate number 2 who is unattached.

Mate number 1 is somewhat gutted at choosing to lose what is probably the only opportunity like that he will ever get. Mate number 2 is well pleased.

[mudzs]

Glad to see mate no1 see sense :) ,and congratulations to mate no2 you lucky man :D

[gazza200]

Mate number 1 did the right thing

He had far too much to lose :)