Wasp Busters!

andyhart21 · July 24, 2002

I arrived home from work this evening to be greeted by a near hysterical next-door neighbour. When I got out my car, she told me that she had been trimming the hedge on our shared driveway when she suddenly was attacked by a swarm of pi**ed off wasps! On closer inspection, a nest nearly the size of a football was found in the hedgerow. She said she had called the council and they wanted £25 to come out and get rid of it, and they couldnt do it untill Monday:mad:

I had a brief think about the best plan of action, and finally decided to get rid of it myself. I donned my finest protective jeans, big wellies, two jumpers, a coat, gloves and a makeshift Blue Peter style hat made from a gamecube box with a celophane window in it! After being fully taped up so none of the little blighters could get up my sleeves (or up my trouser legs!:o), I strutted confidently up the drive toward the nest. My attire proved a great source of amusement for neighbours, but this only made me more determined to succeed. I started hacking branches down around the nest. This seemed to infuriate them even more, and several of them were trying to sting me through the celophane. Fortunately their puny stings were no match for Blue Peter engineering so I remained pain free.

When I had isolated the nest, I picked it of the tree and black-bagged it, then quickly tied the end with insulation tape. This left me with another decision - what would be the method of torture? I searched through the garage and emerged with a one litre bottle of white spirit and a cast iron BBQ. I placed the bag in the bottom of the BBQ (its one of those deep ones) and emptied half the bottle of white spirit on to the bag. On went a lit match.......

WOOOFF! The flames shot 6 feet into the air, nearly melting my celophane mask in the process. The flaming ball of bin bag and wasp nest burned for over an hour, making the most horrible sizzling noise as the wasps and larvae met their doom. When it had reduced to the size of a cricket ball and the flames had died down, I prodded the remains with a stick and it broke in half. I was totally amazed to see that a few wasps were still alive!:o This, however was soon remedied with the other half bottle of white spirit.

I removed my clothes (not all of them :P ) and basked in the glory for 30 seconds or so, then walked off into the sunset (my house) never to be seen again (probably)

And after all that, I never got one sting!:cool:

So if any of you guys have a problem with a wasps nest, my Game Cube helmet can easily be dusted off and brought back for active duty.

Im just too damm good:cool: