If you have an hour to spare worth watching

[steve2006]

Stumbled across this on Youtube.

 

[GMB]

I don't have an hour to spare I'm knocking on 75.⚰️

[GMB]

This article copied from the Guardian today sums up the Lexus owners club clientele

  🙂( me included ) 

This traditional period of inner turmoil is often accompanied by weight gain, cosmetic treatments, ill-advised purchases and new hobbies. But is it becoming a thing of the past?

Name: The midlife crisis.

Age: So it generally happens between the ages of 40 and 60.

 

Not quite yet for me then. And crisis why, exactly? There can be many reasons but at this stage of your life you might start to wonder where it all went, to have feelings of nostalgia and regret, to question some of the choices you’ve made, perhaps even to wonder about your very purpose and identity. Certainly you will be pondering mortality.

Bummer. Which is why it often leads to anxiety, depression and inner turmoil.

And what do you do about it? Well, talking to someone about it would probably be a good idea. But traditionally you get some work done …

Knuckle down and hope it goes away? No! Cosmetic work, like a butt lift or a nice new set of teeth. And then you buy a big motorbike, or an expensive sports car, and go travelling and clubbing, learn to breakdance and have an inappropriate affair.

Cool, looking forward to it. Well, hold it right there – it might not happen.

Because I’ve made all the right choices, and will be totally content with my lot? No, because you can’t afford it.

Can’t afford a midlife crisis? Exactly that. In a US survey of 1,000 millennials by Thriving Center of Psychology, 81% said they couldn’t afford to have a midlife crisis.

What is the Thriving Center? They do therapy, across the US. Attending therapy is a common experience for someone going through a midlife crisis. See also weight gain or loss, increased booze consumption, changing appearance and taking up a new hobby.

And why is it that millennials can’t afford them? Because they earn 20% less than boomers did at that age. Also because of student debt, inflation, cost of living and house prices, etc.

These all sound like reasons for crisis, rather than reasons for no crisis. Well, that’s true. Interestingly, while 58% of millennials said they don’t have time for a midlife crisis, half of those surveyed said they do expect to have one.

So it might not be that we won’t go through life changes and worries, just that they could look different from the ones our parents went through? And you might mark them differently. Mason Farmani, a personal life coach, told Fortune: “The term ‘midlife crisis’ may need to be redefined in the context of this generation’s experiences and circumstances.”

Do say: “Can you get therapy on Temu?”

Don’t say: “I’ll take the Lambo, but I want it in yellow.”

[Jgtcracer]

I’m fast approaching 40 and have indeed started pondering on life and my ‘lot’ so far.  I’ve got a wife and 2 girls along with a job I enjoy.  Don’t have too many regrets.

I do however have lots I still want to do with my life and have recently started to think about the future and what it may look like.  Pensions seem to be important though I’ve done well so far and plan to continue in that vein.  Additionally, I’d like to move into the sticks proper, have a wood and stream so I can play at being off grid later in life and connect with nature.

Not too sure a lambo appeals, though a nice LS or S-Class does get me going.  As for an affair, I struggle to keep one woman happy, never mind two!!

[Boomer54]

18 hours ago, GMB said:

I don't have an hour to spare I'm knocking on 75.⚰️

In the interests of cheering you up you do have a whole 3% of your life remaining!! (based upon you being the Mean (sic) for UK male longevity of 79 years). Enjoy.... quickly.

[Mincey]

I'm towards the upper end of the 40-60 age range.

Had I not made a really bad life decision 13 years ago, I'd be looking for a Ferrari now, but getting rid of an awful wife made more sense, costly though it was.

I manned up and visited a dentist recently for the first time in 20 years and after two scale and polish sessions with a very lovely hygienist, my smile is now almost like Rylan's. I don't think my arse would benefit from a lift to be honest so it's probably best left as it is.

Am I happy? Yes, mostly. I'm playing with a very successful local band and the buzz of playing festivals is amazing. Coming home after a day at work knowing that the evening ahead isn't going to be spent arguing about something trivial is great, because there's nobody here to argue with. Since becoming single, many of the friends I lost because of my toxic soon-to-be ex-wife have welcomed me back into their social circles. I've compiled a Bucket List and am slowly but surely getting through it. I can feel lonely occasionally but on balance, life's good.
 

[Boomer54]

10 hours ago, Mincey said:

I'm towards the upper end of the 40-60 age range.

Had I not made a really bad life decision 13 years ago, I'd be looking for a Ferrari now, but getting rid of an awful wife made more sense, costly though it was.

I manned up and visited a dentist recently for the first time in 20 years and after two scale and polish sessions with a very lovely hygienist, my smile is now almost like Rylan's. I don't think my arse would benefit from a lift to be honest so it's probably best left as it is.

Am I happy? Yes, mostly. I'm playing with a very successful local band and the buzz of playing festivals is amazing. Coming home after a day at work knowing that the evening ahead isn't going to be spent arguing about something trivial is great, because there's nobody here to argue with. Since becoming single, many of the friends I lost because of my toxic soon-to-be ex-wife have welcomed me back into their social circles. I've compiled a Bucket List and am slowly but surely getting through it. I can feel lonely occasionally but on balance, life's good.
 

"Lonely" can be handled. Get a German Shepherd and you will never be lonely again. They don't call them velcro dogs for nothing.

[Phil xxkr]

On 11/11/2024 at 9:29 PM, GMB said:

This article copied from the Guardian today sums up the Lexus owners club clientele

  🙂( me included ) 

This traditional period of inner turmoil is often accompanied by weight gain, cosmetic treatments, ill-advised purchases and new hobbies. But is it becoming a thing of the past?

Name: The midlife crisis.

Age: So it generally happens between the ages of 40 and 60.

 

Not quite yet for me then. And crisis why, exactly? There can be many reasons but at this stage of your life you might start to wonder where it all went, to have feelings of nostalgia and regret, to question some of the choices you’ve made, perhaps even to wonder about your very purpose and identity. Certainly you will be pondering mortality.

Bummer. Which is why it often leads to anxiety, depression and inner turmoil.

And what do you do about it? Well, talking to someone about it would probably be a good idea. But traditionally you get some work done …

Knuckle down and hope it goes away? No! Cosmetic work, like a butt lift or a nice new set of teeth. And then you buy a big motorbike, or an expensive sports car, and go travelling and clubbing, learn to breakdance and have an inappropriate affair.

Cool, looking forward to it. Well, hold it right there – it might not happen.

Because I’ve made all the right choices, and will be totally content with my lot? No, because you can’t afford it.

Can’t afford a midlife crisis? Exactly that. In a US survey of 1,000 millennials by Thriving Center of Psychology, 81% said they couldn’t afford to have a midlife crisis.

What is the Thriving Center? They do therapy, across the US. Attending therapy is a common experience for someone going through a midlife crisis. See also weight gain or loss, increased booze consumption, changing appearance and taking up a new hobby.

And why is it that millennials can’t afford them? Because they earn 20% less than boomers did at that age. Also because of student debt, inflation, cost of living and house prices, etc.

These all sound like reasons for crisis, rather than reasons for no crisis. Well, that’s true. Interestingly, while 58% of millennials said they don’t have time for a midlife crisis, half of those surveyed said they do expect to have one.

So it might not be that we won’t go through life changes and worries, just that they could look different from the ones our parents went through? And you might mark them differently. Mason Farmani, a personal life coach, told Fortune: “The term ‘midlife crisis’ may need to be redefined in the context of this generation’s experiences and circumstances.”

Do say: “Can you get therapy on Temu?”

Don’t say: “I’ll take the Lambo, but I want it in yellow.”

Contentment won't come from getting what you want but from wanting what you already have and never forgetting why you wanted it in the first place. 🙂

[GMB]

32 minutes ago, Phil xxkr said:

Contentment won't come from getting what you want but from wanting what you already have and never forgetting why you wanted it in the first place

Sorry, forgotten what you said but I am sure it was important. What day is it?

BTW I don't think that contentment can be achieved, or is even desirable, it's in the human nature to keep wanting to do more. It's the way we were made; a bit like Bees and Ants habits.  🤐🤔🐝👷‍♀️

[Phil xxkr]

14 minutes ago, GMB said:

Sorry, forgotten what you said but I am sure it was important. What day is it?

BTW I don't think that contentment can be achieved, or is even desirable, it's in the human nature to keep wanting to do more. It's the way we were made; a bit like Bees and Ants habits.  🤐🤔🐝👷‍♀️

You are confusing contentment with the ephemeral idea of happiness sold to you as a desirable life aim. As to Bees well they don't go far because they exist in a life cycle. And we all know what we feel about cyclists! 😂

[Boomer54]

Much of what is spoken and written on this issue might well be well meaning, well intentioned, but it is also twaddle best found within a fortune cookie.

One way of thinking about it is to consider that a human is just a shell, a container for the interaction of chemical and electrical impulses. Via the intricate cabling system we call the nervous system your body responds to the stimulation produced by the aforementioned. You can call it many other things, feelings, emotions, sensations whatever you like really. What we know is all humans need stimulation. Without stimulation you are a sick puppy and at an extreme you are dead. However, not all stimulation is created equally. Your body will register some stimulation positively and some negatively. It should go without saying this varies widely individual to individual in the main dependent upon prior learned experiences. Let's just lump that lot and call it conditioning. In a dream world we would test any given individual to find what experiences create for them a point of stimulation equilibrium where the stimulation they receive leads them to be mentally  stable and physically productive because of it. By playing around with tests we might find find which stimulation is putting them out of equilibrium. That is, mentally struggling and consequently physically unproductive. If in the main you think you are content, happy etc then take a bow as you have a balance of stimulation that is right for you. A psychiatrist looking at the person who is not content etc might focus on the chemical side of explaining that and try to correct it with medication IF diagnostically that appears to be the crux of the issue. A psychologist in the main want to look at your life, your relationships, experiences and try to identify that stimulation bugger that is putting you out of balance. Unsurprisingly, the latter is all too oft relationships that are creating negative stimulation. You are sad, depressed, unhappy, but 'stuck'. I am sure my daughter would agree wholeheartedly with me when I say many people can be mentally improved just by either cutting ,or changing a relationship(s). It's important to understand this is not about talking you better. It is about behavioural diagnosis and taking physical actions based upon that. You can't talk somebody into being happy ,or content. To get there something in their current lifestyle has to change!

That's why I applaud our friend above. Whatever his situation now it appears clear that it is improved because he found the motivation to 'cut' a relationship that was not working positively for him. Too oft people are conflicted on this ,because they fear the change more than they fear their current state of 'happiness'.

Lot of simplification above, but I doubt anyone wants to read a 'War and Peace' version.

[GMB]

1 hour ago, Boomer54 said:

twaddle

Ooooh. Is that the time?🥱

[Boomer54]

43 minutes ago, GMB said:

Ooooh. Is that the time?🥱

Ok, message received. You wanted the "War and Peace" version. I hope you don't have any holidays coming up in the next few months. 😉