Does This Sound Like You......?

[Zee007]

Phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"

She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah," I said, Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute!

"Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"

V

V

V

V

V

V

So I hung up.

[Bazza]

nice one zee !

:)

[mudzs]

:P nice one

[AltezzaScott]

The Da Man Zee!!!! ... That is cool...

[ifraz]

PSML......

That's the funniest thing I've heard all day....thank you for that :zee:

[wills]

PSML......

That's the funniest thing I've heard all day....thank you for that

[chips229]

:D :D :D LOL

[Steve ( West Mids )]

I was reading it thinking it was your true story Zee :)

[aido]

Sweet - sounded like me for a minute :D

[Bobski]

You saying that reminded me of a question a friend asked me..............

"Do you talk to your other half when you have s*x?"

I replied................

"Only if she rings me" :shutit:

[SHAHZ]

good one!!

[Steve]

brilliant!

[Mitch]

that was shallow zee.........................GOOD LAD.....................haha sounded exactly like wot i'd do if a girl said that to me ha.............

[Zee007]

When I was Seven , I did not like girls.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

At university, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She wasn totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big t*ts.

[dhs]

Trouble with big t**ts as they get older they loose the anti grav powers they used to have and start decending towwards the centre of the earth

[aido]

These are quality, any more Zee?

[Zee007]

One more - just for Aido...... :)

A lesson in life.

I was happy. My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, quite obviously too, and made me feel uncomfortable.

One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to check the invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she can't overcome. So before I get married and commit my life to her daughter, she wants to make love to me just once.

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door... I opened it, and stepped out of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

Lesson learned?

Always keep your condoms in your car.

[aido]

Quality mate :)

[dhs]

That was brilliant Zee :D :D :D

[marcus]

When I was Seven , I did not like girls.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

At university, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.  Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She wasn totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big t*ts.

←

you the man Zee

[Maz]

Very Good Zee....hehe :D :D :D :D :D

[Mitch]

haha very good.

i'd post some true experiences but not on here, maybe at next meet i'll share with ya'll

[Ally]

[Purvesh]

Hahaha don't beat about the bush, but just tell her straight!!

[peter026]

Fantastic :D :D :D