Intelligence Test

[tdiplc]

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of

intelligence.

Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are

Still "with it."

OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "Bread." If you said "Toast," then give up now and go do

something else.

Try not to hurt yourself though.

If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "Silk" five times. Now spell "Silk."

What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "Milk," please do not attempt to

answer the next question. Your brain is obviously over tressed and may

even overheat.

It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something

more appropriate, such as "Children's World."

If you said "water," proceed to question 3

3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made

from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black

house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks,"

what on earth are you still doing reading these Questions?????

If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany.

If You recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West

Germany And East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines

failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,

Decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails

before He has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes

smack In the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West

Germany. Where Would you bury the survivors?. . . in East Germany, West

Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING

else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a

plane crash.

Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the

survivors," proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how

many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than

"one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are

obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room.

Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to

Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In

Reading, Six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon,

two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16

people get on.

In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen,

Six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What Was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!

[Stu]

old, but still funny (ish!)

stu

[djanderso]

but on a recent trip to Washington I saw a roadsign (and I kid you not!) that said "Next Exit for George Bush Center for Intelligence" - One of those moments I wish I had my camera!