That Supagard and Gardex stuff

[Mincey]

Way back in 2008 when I bought my IS250 from Lexus Leicester, I was cajoled into having the car Supagarded. I'd read stuff in this very forum about how it made rain run off the car and I'd not have to wax it for three years yada yada yada, so I paid for it and got my big bag of cleany gear (see below). Impressive isn't it? Look at all those shiny cans and boxes of cleany stuff and that alloy cleaning brush is the dog's bits:

(The bag is pristine - the brown "stains" is the setting sun - honest!)

The eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that it looks untouched. Well, you're right. It was totally untouched. It could in fact, go into a Supagard museum. Anyway, I digress.Roll the clock forward to December 2019 and another spending spree at Lexus Leicester on a replacement IS. This time I held out and said I didn't want Supagard. "Supagard?" they said. "You foolish young man - we don't offer that anymore, it's Gardex now!". I held out and said "No. No, I don't want Gardex either". I ended up having it thrown in for free, so I was quite chuffed. Even though I think the car had already been Gardexed anyway (it was an ex-demonstrator).

When I picked up the car, I was given the Gardex "bag". Not quite as impressive as the Supagard bag, is it? 

 

"No Mincey, it is not!" I hear you all cry in unison. I have removed the tyre sealant though - that's in the boot. Just in case.

So what, I'm sure you're wondering is the point of this post? What is the point to any of my posts? That's a very good question indeed. That's a question even I cannot answer. Well, my sensible car owning chums, let me tell you. For reasons far too complicated to go into, I had to park my car underneath a tree overnight. This morning I went out to discover to my horror, that the boot lid was plastered with a substance which I can only describe as "bird ****". And a lot of it. Pigeons. Need I say more?

Given that my last IS had a few patches where I'd scrubbed a bit too hard to remove bird poo, I was concerned. I then remembered my Supagard pack. Would the Bird Poo remover remove all the bird poo which had plastered my boot? I was both concerned and intrigued. Could some 12 year old chemicals restore my boot lid to its previously pristine state? Would it remove the poo and the paint? I thought I needed to take one for my chums here on the forum, so I did. I took the 12 year old can of bird poo remover from the Supagard bag, shook it for a minute and then sprayed it all over the poo on my boot. Was I going to need to invoke the paint protection I HAD taken out on my car? Everything would be obvious in a minute or so. I was scared, very scared. It was a very long minute.

The timer on my phone beeped. I poured the bucket of water I'd had ready all over my boot lid. The white foam which had come out of the can was now a dirty brown. It washed away leaving a totally fab clean silver boot lid. I punched the air. The woman who was on the other side of the road talking to a friend on her mobile phone stopped talking and gave me a thumbs up. She knew what I'd been up to, and she approved heartily. This was success on an unparalleled level. 

There must be a point to this story. It's probably "go to Halfords and buy a can of bird poo remover in case you have to leave your car parked under a tree at night. It will save you a few quid.". I bet you're all wondering why I didn't use the bird poo remover from the Gardex pack? Well, it wasn't as big and beefy as the Supagard one. The woman over the road would not have been half as impressed had I used the little girlie can of Gardex Poo Remover, and that's a fact. Like there being nine million bicycles in Beijing.

I hope this post has been of use. 

[rich1068]

I gave you a "Thanks" in case no one else responds to this post.

[Las Palmas]

It was a great story. Not all super-ingredients are junk.

[ALAW]

Interesting read James. Cant say ive ever used bird poo remover certainly one to think about getting

[Phil xxkr]

If you are a one-fingered typist like me, Crikey! For the odd "deposit" on my car I keep a packet of baby wipes from Lidl, 40p and very efficient 👍

[dutchie01]

a paper towel and Luke warm water work just as good. shows you that not every invention is an answer to a question?

[Mincey]

20 hours ago, dutchie01 said:

a paper towel and Luke warm water work just as good. shows you that not every invention is an answer to a question?

Are you sure you're not my boss...? He'd have pointed out something like that!

The reason I liked the spray is that it lifted the bird mess and could be rinsed off without any physical contact or scratching.

[paulrnx]

A great read and very amusing but very informative too 👍

[LenT]

On 4/21/2021 at 1:03 PM, dutchie01 said:

a paper towel and Luke warm water work just as good. shows you that not every invention is an answer to a question?

Possibly.  And a remedy I have resorted to when at home and near a convenient source of warm water.  But as James can testify, avian toilet habits know no boundaries.  They are just as likely to exercise their prerogatives over the wild expanse of a supermarket car park.  Knowing that he has a proven solution that he can carry in his boot, ready for instant action, must make leaving home a more relaxing experience.

I for one will be checking my boot to ensure that I will not be caught short on leaving home.

[Mincey]

4 minutes ago, LenT said:

Possibly.  And a remedy I have resorted to when at home and near a convenient source of warm water.  But as James can testify, avian toilet habits know no boundaries.  They are just as likely to exercise their prerogatives over the wild expanse of a supermarket car park.  Knowing that he has a proven solution that he can carry in his boot, ready for instant action, must make leaving home a more relaxing experience.

I for one will be checking my boot to ensure that I will not be caught short on leaving home.

Wise words Len!

[Spacewagon52]

Great story! I wish I had known this in 1989!

[Spacewagon52]

I saw a green/yellow coloured liquid that was advertised to clear dirt from a car like magic. The advert was very impressive, so I bought some, at a premium price. On smelling the liquid in the fancy bottle, I realised it was FLASH! I fell for the hype - as I have done on other occasions! I have bought many items that would change my life dramatically, only to discover they were hardly used.

 

I too have an unused Supagard kit!

[dutchie01]

Tell Sell comes to mind?

Buy now! but wait it gets better, not only you get this but also that and that and that!!

 

[true blue]

Thanks for that anecdote Mincey  in view of my recent ramblings on seagull poo in this vicinity I will heed your advice

Dave